dear mothercare

dear mothercare,

what’s the point in putting an advice line phone number on your products if the only advice you can give me on the phone is “take it into a store and see if they can help.”. thanks for leaving me on hold listening to your advertising for 15 minutes anyway.

yours disgruntledly



i eventually worked out how to fix your product. whoever drew the illustration in the instructions didn’t have the product to draw from life. and the out-laws were following the instructions to the letter. i could tell you what’s wrong and then you could tell other people. but since you didn’t even ask me what product i was looking at when i phoned you i don’t have much hope that the information will get spread about if i tell you about it.


i already have a personal boycott of mamas and papas since their pushchair guarantee is worth precisely the square root of a minus zero. so i guess i’m going to end up with nowhere to buy childcare products soon.

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